Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
