you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize