Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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