WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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