how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
