I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
