You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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