maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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