drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
