Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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