I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
