But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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