Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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