i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize