i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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