Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
