Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So vagazzling was a success
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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