I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
