So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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