so let's talk penis.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
