At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
40s are totally the cure
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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