I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
