Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
