I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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