garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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