but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize