you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
