If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My ass is underappreciated
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
