i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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