Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
