just come out here and I will go home with you...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
