four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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