eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
How external is "for external use only"?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
