also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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