Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
