seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
