butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Can i not drive my cunt home
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
