I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
