I heard we made out
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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