So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
