I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
