She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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