So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
