things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
