the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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