Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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