Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
