glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
