i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
