If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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