i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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