So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
