I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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