i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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