I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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