I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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