Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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