No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize